


Don’t you cry

by Lokibabypyth



Series: Mercy [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angsty Crowley (Good Omens), Anxious Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley’s Fall, F/M, Female Pronouns for Crowley, Genderfluid Character, Heavy Angst, Hurt Crowley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Male Pronouns for Crowley, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Podfic Welcome, Trauma, mpreg kinda, villain gabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 12:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20874455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokibabypyth/pseuds/Lokibabypyth
Summary: Sequel to ‘Baby mine’. Crowley and Aziraphale are able to start their family, but a certain archangel, who may or may not be jealous that the once archangel Crowley (Raphael) now belongs to Aziraphale instead of him, isn’t willing to let them have peace so easily.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok fair warning: Crowley deals with a lot of trauma in this fic, mostly in the second chapter. I didn’t describe any violence or death in great detail, but it’s there as well. This is just super angsty. Do with that what you will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has a bit of fluff, yay

Crowley settled into motherhood like a snake to a slither and she hadn’t even had the baby yet. Aziraphale couldn’t remember a time when she seemed so...well, sweet. Perhaps it was the slight softness she’d acquired from the baby weight, or maybe it was the lovely way she was doing her hair these days- a shoulder length wavy bob, very feminine-, or perhaps it was just that she was so happy. Aziraphale would often catch her humming to herself, or whispering little nothings to the baby that was yet to be born. The angel knew that Crowley always had a way with children, always cared deeply for them. It had been apparent since that first night in the ark when Aziraphale had heard whispering coming from a large crate, which he pried open to find Crowley hidden away with perhaps 8 little ones the demon had rescued from the flood. He smiled now at the memory. ‘Not nice’ indeed. 

There was much to be wondered about how the pregnancy would develop. As one could imagine, there weren’t many records of any demons giving birth, especially if the father was an angel. It seemed, however, as time went on, everything was very human-like. It made sense, in a way, because their corporeal forms were, more or less, human. And in 8 and a half months, in Anathema’s living room with help from the witch, Crowley gave birth to a beautiful little girl. Aziraphale was going to take the baby to be washed off and let Crowley rest for a moment, but the demon wasn’t having it. She insisted on holding her fledgeling right then and there.

“Hello, little one.” The demon cooed, reverently. “Zira, she’s...she’s perfect.”

The angel chuckled a bit “She is, but I think she’ll be a good bit more comfortable when she’s all cleaned up, don’t you?”

Crowley rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “Oh alright.”

She reluctantly handed the baby to Anathema who gave a quick “Be right back.” then headed off to the kitchen where she had set up a baby bath in the sink.

“Thank you, angel.” Crowley said after a few moments.

“Whatever for, my dear?”

“For her.” The demon replied, her mind seemed to be somewhere else but Aziraphale chalked it up to the exhaustion his poor wife must be feeling after hours of labor.

“Then perhaps I should thank you. I hardly did any of the work.” The angel replied.

“‘Could say that again, pillow principality.” Crowley laughed, quite pleased with herself for that one.

Aziraphale scoffed, lightly, “Don’t you start that, you silly creature. Here you are.” He handed her a glass of orange juice to keep her blood sugar up. The angel proceeded to start cleaning up the soiled rags and towels beneath her, bringing in soft, clean bedding to replace them. Once Crowley was able to get settled as comfortably as she could, Anathema came back with the fledgeling and Crowley and Aziraphale were able to get a proper look at her. She really was a lovely little thing. Pale and round-faced, with little reddish downy hairs atop her head. She blinked up at Crowley, blue eyes looking quite human.

“Thank someone, she’s got your eyes!” The demon exclaimed to her husband.

“All babies have blue eyes, Crowley.” Aziraphale replied.

“I meant they look normal. She looks remarkably normal. No scales, no fangs, no feathers. We did alright.”

The angel blinked, it hadn’t really occurred to him that the baby might not be perfectly ‘normal’ by human standards. Anyway, it seemed it was nothing to worry about. “What shall we call her, dearest?”

The demon was silent for a moment, as if she wasn’t expecting to be asked. And she wasn’t. She was half hoping Aziraphale would name their little girl himself so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge the only name she could give the child, which was “Mercy.”.

Aziraphale was taken aback for a moment. That was a suggestion he wouldn’t, in all of eternity, have expected from the demon. Still it was nice, and he didn’t want to think too far into Crowley’s reasons. “I quite like that.” The angel smiled softly as Crowley placed the baby in his arms.

The redhead watched her husband as he cradled their baby close, how he cared so much for her, how he adored her and gazed at her with nothing but love. Mercy was so safe in the arms of her father...that’s how it ought to be. Crowley felt tears well up in the corners of her eyes. No no, she didn’t want to cry now. Everything was alright. Everything was better, wasn’t it? It should’ve been. She cried anyway.

“Crowley? What’s wrong, my love?” Aziraphale asked.

“‘Ssss nothing, angel. I’m very happy.” She said.

“...Those aren’t happy tears, Crowley.” Aziraphale knew the demon too well to buy it.

“Truly. I’m happy, just tired.” The redhead insisted.

The angel wasn’t at all convinced, but he didn’t want to push it. Crowley really was tired, and there was no point in upsetting her further. “Go ahead and sleep, my darling. We’ll be here when you wake up.” He kissed her forehead, and she settled into the nest of pillows and blankets around her and drifted off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trauma chapter oof

It wasn’t too long before heaven and hell became aware that their respective rouges had created a fledgeling together. Hell was apathetic, and even if they weren’t, no one there was in any rush to pay Crowley a visit. Heaven, on the other hand...  
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Gabriel laughed, coldly. He was angry, jealous, and he wanted to stir the pot.  
“I wish I could say I was!” Michael responded. “They’ve gone and done it; the thing was born just 3 months ago.”  
“Such a shame, all of it. That snake has been nothing but trouble since before the beginning, you know. And things could’ve been so different...oh well, what’s done is done. Shall I pay a congratulatory visit to the happy couple?”

Mercy was drifting off to sleep in her mother’s arms as Crowley told her a story about a beautiful garden and a very handsome angel who was kind enough to shield a snake from a thunderstorm. When the demon was sure his little one was fast asleep, he got up out of the rocking chair and placed Mercy ever so gently into her crib. He stood there for a minute and watched his baby sleep. After a few picnics and days spent outside enjoying the weather, Mercy was beginning to get a light dusting of freckles across her skin. But instead of brown, like Crowley’s, they were rather iridescent; gold, like little stars on her skin. A bit of an outward manifestation of her celestial DNA. The redhead smiled, then turned to start the music box that would play soothingly as long as Mercy slept. As he was walking out of the room, Crowley saw Aziraphale was getting home from the bookshop. When he stepped into the cottage, the angel stretched his wings out, as both of them tended to do sometimes when they were home, just because they could and because it was comfortable.  
“Hi.” Crowley smiled, sauntering up to his husband and burying his hand into his feathers, kissing him with purpose.  
“Oh, my dear, hi yourself.” Aziraphale smiled as Crowley continued to kiss him, insistently.  
“I’ve just put Mercy to sleep.”   
“Have you?”  
“Yeah, and I was just thinking...as much as I do adore her, we haven’t had a lot of alone time since she’s been born and I’m really getting to where I miss it.” Crowley kissed Aziraphale again, deeper now. “Please angel, lets go to bed, I need you.”  
Aziraphale had wrapped his arms around Crowley to pull him close as they kissed.  
“Then you’ll have me.” The angel replied.

There was a knock at the door. Crowley groaned in frustration. Aziraphale stroked his cheek pityingly. “We’ll get to it, don’t you worry about that.” He said, folding his wings away before turning to answer the door. Crowley had gone to spread out on the couch, pouting. Whoever it was must be damn worth their time.  
“Gabriel?” Aziraphale exclaimed. He hadn’t seen or heard from the archangel since before the trial.  
“Hello, Aziraphale. Don’t worry I’m not really here on official business, I just heard you and your, erm...Crowley have been blessed with a fledgeling and I came by to congratulate you.”  
“Oh, really? Well that’s...very kind of you. Would you like to come in?” Aziraphale said, a bit awkwardly.  
Gabriel gave a smile and stepped in the doorway. Crowley came slinking back into the room. “Angel who was at the-“ he froze where he stood, horrified. “Why are you here?”  
“Why? To give my congratulations of course. I heard about the little tyke and-“  
“I don’t believe you for a second you lying bastard. ‘The heaven do you want with my family?!” The demon growled and bared his fangs.   
“Crowley!” Aziraphale chastised.  
“It’s alright, Aziraphale. It’s only his nature after all. A demon is always a demon, I don’t expect any civilized conduct.” The archangel said, condescending as ever.   
“Gabriel, I want you out of my house! Get out! And don’t you ever come anywhere near my child or I ssswear on my own life it’ll be my turn to tear you open! You may have gotten the better of me once but I’m a demon now and I will call the firesss out of hell and shove them into the core of your being until there is nothing left of you!” Crowley’s claws were extended, he snarled and raised his wings, poised to attack. His feathers were ruffled and shaking.  
“Crowley what’s gotten into you?!” Aziraphale asked, shocked and horrified. He had never, in 6,000 years of knowing Crowley, seen this. The angel held up a hand as if trying to calm a spooked horse.  
Gabriel stood, unfazed, and only raised a questioning brow. “I can’t imagine, Aziraphale. But you’d better keep an eye on him. That kind of aggression around a child could be disastrous, you know. I’d hate for something to happen to it...” Crowley roared in a way only a demon could, and lunged at the archangel. “No!” Aziraphale, responding instantaneously, hit Crowley full on from the front to grab onto his body, turning himself into a vice like barrier between Crowley and his intended target. The archangel allowed Aziraphale to have to struggle and fight the enraged demon for a moment, Crowley flapped his wings, kicked, pushed and even clawed at his husband with all his strength, still desperately trying to get to Gabriel, who only smirked wickedly, then disappeared where he stood. He was lucky that Aziraphale was just a bit stronger than Crowley, because the demon would have made good on his threat. When he saw Gabriel was gone, Crowley went limp in Aziraphale’s grasp, and sobbed as Aziraphale has never heard him sob. Great, gasping heaves of breath ripped through Crowley as he wailed in grief too great to describe. Aziraphale could do nothing but sink to the floor with his husband in his arms, and hold him as Crowley clutched at him like the angel could save him from whatever wretchedness plagued his mind. The claws grasping at Aziraphale’s back hurt, and the demonic cries were awful to hear, but the angel could do nothing. Crowley was panicking, and Aziraphale hadn’t the slightest idea what had transpired before him. Last time he had seen Crowley interact with Gabriel, it was at the Tadfield air base, and it was nothing like this. Crowley had seemed completely himself then, full of witty comments and sarcasm to easily brush off the archangel’s confrontational attitude.  
“Crowley, Crowley! Hush! Hush now. Stop this!” Aziraphale commanded. “Stop it, I say!” Crowley let go of the angel but still cried heavily, coiling in on himself in Azirpahale’s lap. At least his weeping was sounding a bit more human now and he spoke between rushed breaths.  
“Aziraphale he’s going to do it again! He’s going to kill her! My baby! Don’t let him, we mustn’t let him! He can’t! Please don’t let him, angel, please, please!” He pleaded. He tried for a moment to get up, to rush to the nursery. Aziraphale wouldn’t let him go.   
“No, Crowley. You won’t get near her until you can calm down and tell me what the hell you’re talking about! She’s mine too and I will protect her, even if I have to protect her from you.” The angel was so worried now. Clearly something was going on that he had no previous knowledge of.  
Crowley seemed as if he might get a hold of himself, but really his mind was so jumbled that he could only get out some semblance of what he wanted to explain. “She’ll never need protecting from me, Azirpahale I’d never hurt her! Gabriel’s the one who wants to, and he’s going to blame it on me! Again! Last time, when he- when I was pregnant and he- he- got so angry and he attacked me and he killed the baby! I didn’t even get to have it! I didn’t even get to see it born, he killed it!”  
“Crowley what do you mean? When were you pregnant before? I don’t understand-“  
“In heaven, before the fall. And you weren’t even created yet, he told me I was the most beautiful of the archangels and he said he loved me and he wanted me, and then after a while I got pregnant...I was so happy, I thought he would be too but when I told him he got angry with me. He told me I couldn’t have a fledgeling, that it was blasphemous because only God could decide to create new angels and he- he attacked me...he...he ripped open my womb and... I didn’t think I would survive- I wished a hadn’t. He left me alone, bleeding...I was- I was far enough along that there were...parts...little wings- have you ever held all that was left of a baby angel in your hands, Azirpahale? Because I will never forget it.” Words spilled from the demon’s mouth, and he only hoped he was explaining coherently. “Shh! Please. No more. Don’t tell me anymore.” All the color drained from Aziraphale’s face as he began to understand. He’d had no idea. Crowley and...and Gabriel? Oh heavens, but what had Gabriel done to him?! How awful. How indescribably evil. And Crowley...Crowley had dealt with this all this time, alone? “That’s why I fell.” The redhead whimpered. “I asked God why She didn’t stop him. I asked how it could be good or right, what he did. I never got an answer and I got so upset, I was hurting so much...then Lucifer told me he and some others were going to have a rebellion and so I joined them.” It was all tied together. Aziraphale cried too. He cried for all the suffering Crowley had endured, all the loss, all the torment. All the demon still faced, all the pain and fear Aziraphale couldn’t lift from him. Still, he would do all he could.  
“Crowley, I want you to listen to me. This child that we have will never be unsafe. You know I will protect her fiercely with my life and he can never touch her. She is mercy to you and I understand that now. I promise you, my beloved, she is safe, and so are you.”  
The angel sat on the floor, cradling his husband to him until the crying stopped altogether. He knew Crowley was a creature of great emotions though he sometimes tried not to show it. He knew Crowley would always miss the child he never got to know, that he wouldn’t ever heal completely, but perhaps he would be alright, now that he had Aziraphale, and Mercy.


End file.
